It is that time of the year when I get to celebrate my birthday, I had a really good day and got the sweetest gift from my girls but before today I was scared, I felt lost, a tad bit confused and disappointed about my life and how things have been in the past year.
Thinking about it now, I want to flog myself for being hard on myself up for things I honestly have little to no control over; I mean God can only help those who first help themselves and I haven’t really done a good job in that area.
In my previous post wrote about how I planned and actually made an attempt to quit Architecture immediately after school and recently just decided to face my fears head on which means I now have to start looking for internships and junior roles opportunities in this field to be able to work in the industry but honestly the response hasn’t been how or what I expected it to be which made me more frustrated than motivated(don’t worry this is my overthinking self talking).
Take it from me overthinking and dwelling on the what if’s, weakness and having regrets about how things would have been different if I had just faced everything I was scared of earlier hasn’t helped me. I have decided to start learning again which has been slow but we are taking it one day at a time, Now I am sure doing Architecture and content creation is possible as long as I am willing and ready to do what is necessary to achieve what I want.
Today, I woke up really happy and I actually feel blessed; I decided to stop dwelling on negativity and just focus on all the positive things that will happen if I just settle down and actually do the work that needs to be done
I want to write lessons I am learning but I believe learning is more about implementation and actually using these lessons than just learning so I’m just going to leave the lessons for when I actually start practicing it in actuality but then I actually like the direction my mind is taking hopefully it stays this(I will make conscious effort to make it stay this way).
I didn’t over think anything or dwell on the failures of this past year, all I thought about today was the love and ways to make myself better moving forward.
By the way, the love today was so beautiful there was no room for negativity; it was wide smiles and positive vibes throughout for me courtesy of all the amazing people in my life and even strangers I met on the internet.
How do feel about birthdays, does growing old every year scare or excite you?